Compensation
by Darache
Summary: Riku, Kairi, and the fine art of learning to let go. One shot with potentially more to come.


_Hello everyone. Darache here again, and with yet another one-shot, this time from the Kingdom Hearts fandom. This little diddy takes place about seven or so years after the events of the first game and doesn't take into account anything from Chain of Memories since I haven't played it or the second game since I haven't been keeping track of all the rumors and whatnot flying around. So no blonde-haired kid or creepy guys in black coats. Sorry, Kiddies. That's outta my league.

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_**Disclaimer: **These characters do not belong to me as they are the brain-child of Square-Enix and Disney. Besides, if they were mine, I wouldn't be sitting around writing fanfiction because honestly, would you? But I digress. In recap, Not mine, don't sue. Thanks!

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**Title: _Compensation_  
Author: _Darache, K. Bomar_  
Posted: _November 18th, 2005_  
Updated: _December 3rd, 2005

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_Time can be kind, buffering the edges of the most painful memories so the wounds caused can scab and heal. But for two souls tangled in Darkness, time brings no such absolution. _

"Can I come in?" he asks her softly, standing in her doorway with an almost uncertain look on his handsome chiseled face. It startles her because she's used to seeing a smug self-assured expression on that face of his, but never this. She's never seen anything like this before.

"S-sure," she murmurs uneasily, standing aside so he can walk in. She still isn't sure why he's here, but it doesn't matter that much really. She's glad to see him; it has been so long since she last saw him. "What brings you here?"

"Can't an old friend visit an old friend?" He asks, an all too familiar smirk playing on his face as he leans against the wall beside her door. There's a hint of something there, though. Something that she just doesn't quite understand and really doesn't want to. A lingering emotion that he shouldn't have, a spark that sparks something inside of her.

"I suppose," she answers, feeling more unsure of herself than ever. Especially with the way he's looking at her. Almost like he can still feel something, even though everyone on Destiny Islands knows that he can't. People who have lost their hearts can't feel anything but numb. Strange that she feels more numb than he looks. "How have you been, Riku?" The question falls from her lips without her even thinking, almost like they're children again. Like things aren't falling apart around them, and the world isn't as broken as they all know it is.

He stops, the smirk dropping from his face at her question. To her, it looks like he's really thinking about it, almost as though he isn't really sure. Of course, he likely doesn't hear that question very often anymore. Everyone else is afraid of him. Because they remember what the Heartless were like. They can't _forget_. "I've –" He hesitates, like he really doesn't want to tell her, or maybe he just doesn't _know_, "I've been alright, I guess." He shrugs in that childlike way, his face instantly looking younger than it has in years. She can almost see the boy she knew so long ago shining out from the Darkness. "You look well, Kairi." He sounds calm enough, but she catches a hint of sorrow in his tone so slight she isn't sure it was actually there.

"Thanks," is all she can think to say. She can't help but notice how thin he looks now, the way his once boyish countenance is washed out and hollow, ground down by the hands of time. Riku looks _old_, she realizes in that moment, older than he ever should. Of course, she imagines she would look that old if she'd been through what he had. Actually, she doubts she would still be alive. She absently glances back at the clock behind her. The roast she put in should be done soon. Making up her mind, she puts on her best sham of a smile. "Hey, Riku, would you like to join me for dinner? I made a roast, and it should be ready soon."

If he realizes her smile is fake, he doesn't say anything. Of course, he's a master of Deception and Lies now, too, so he probably just doesn't care or even notice. "Don't go out of your way on my part. I don't need your pity." Just when she thinks they can have a normal conversation, there he goes with the attitude. She can_not_ stand when he acts like this. She knows he hasn't eaten anything worth counting in months, and by the stars she knows he wants to eat with her but his stupid pride won't let him. She be damned if she allows him to walk out that door hungry.

"It _isn't _going out of my way, Riku! I'm about to eat as it is, and don't you dare tell me you aren't hungry." She shoots him her patented Kairi glare – when was the last time she used that? – and pulls him away from the door. "And that's final."

"Alright!" he cries, pulling his arm from her grasp like it burns. "You don't have to be pushy about it." He looks affronted, and she wonders why he's always like this. Why he doesn't allow anyone to do anything for him. Then she remembers what happened the last time someone did anything to help Riku, and she has to fight back the tears. How could she have forgotten something so important? Her shoulders start to shake a little, but she fights back the tears and cries of pain with all her might.

Riku, for his part, does nothing. He shows her no comfort, gives her no affection, he doesn't tell her it will all be ok. Because he knows it won't ever be alright, and he understands better than anyone else that all she needs in those weak moments is to be left alone to fight it out. He knows that she isn't the Damsel in Distress waiting for her Prince to save her like everyone else seems to believe. He, like her, knows that Fairy Tales don't exist, and Happily Ever After is just a ploy used by companies to sell books to unsuspecting children.

They haven't been innocent like that in years.

She wipes her eyes and sighs, a bright empty smile playing across her face before she turns back to him. She forgets that she doesn't have to pretend with Riku. "I'm sorry," she murmurs softly, missing the look of concern that flashes for one brief moment in his soulless eyes. "I just wanted to do something for you. You're wasting away, Riku, and I can't stand that." She doesn't give him time to say anything to that because she's already in the kitchen, pulling her perfect roast from the oven. "Take a seat. I'll have it over in a minute."

Of course, he does as he's told, and they share a nice quiet meal together. Neither brings up the fact that he looks like a walking skeleton more so than ever now, or how she can't seem to make any of her smiles reach her eyes anymore. They don't talk about the missing member of their little band of three, and how that member isn't ever coming back. It's better not to, they both think silently. Let the past be buried, never to bother them again. It isn't that simple, of course, but nothing ever is anymore.

"Did you like it?" She asks afterwards when they're sitting on her couch. She's watched him like a hawk the entire time and wondered about him all the while. He seems ok by appearance. Still smug and assured as ever, but there's something there that just isn't the same. She doesn't know what it is exactly, but it's there. It lingers just behind his eyes; it plays on his face when she glances away. She isn't sure but has a sneaking suspicion that it's the pain Riku refuses to show to anyone. He never mourned, and she doesn't understand how he can live without doing so. Of course, he doesn't have a heart so maybe that's how.

He nods, not realizing that his host is analyzing his every action. "Best I've had in a while." The compliment, said in a lackluster tone, almost surprises her. The Riku she knew would have been hard-pressed to say anything of the sort, but this Riku . . . he seems softer, kinder. He is a different person. It makes her wonder if she's changed that much, too.

"I'm glad." She murmurs, glancing at him through the curtain of ruby hair that falls into her eyes. She hesitantly reaches out to take his hand, knowing that he dislikes being touched by anyone, but she thinks that it's appropriate. She wants to have his full attention for what she has to say. "I do worry about you. I'm afraid that one day you won't be standing in my doorway with that idiotic smirk on your face, and that I'll slowly end up forgetting everything because I already feel like I'm going crazy as it is. I miss the way things _were_." She isn't really sure how she ended up leaning against his shoulder, but she is and it's comforting to feel the warmth of another person around her. It makes her feel safe, like the days when her mother comforted her after a nightmare. Only, this nightmare isn't going away, and she can't wake up.

"I know." He whispers softly against the crown of her head, his lips dancing across the surface of her strawberry strands. He doesn't tell her it will be alright, and he doesn't try to give her useless comfort because he knows she doesn't want it. "I miss him, too." And those words break her fragile control, and she starts to cry like she never has before. She realizes belatedly that indeed she hasn't. She was too numb to cry, too proud to show her pain. But now she does, and it seems that it's the only thing she'll ever be able to do, but he doesn't leave her. He sits there, holding her close the way she always imagined Sora would have. But he never got the chance to do that, so she has to be content with imagining that the man holding her now is the boy she used to love. It almost works, but even she knows almost doesn't count.

She cries for what feels like hours, and then she sighs as she pulls away from his tear-stained shoulder. She could almost giggle about it, if the situation wasn't what it is. "I'm sorry." She says for the second time that night, and she really is. She can't believe she cried in front of him just as she can't believe he didn't run away. He's still here, she muses, and she's glad for it. Really, he's the only one who could ever really understand. He's the only one who never told her it would all be _ok _with time, and she knows he never will. "I didn't mean to." She feels vulnerable now, her broken twisted soul lain before him in judgment. She's scared now, more than she ever has been. After all, how can someone without a heart feel pity or concern for the likes of her?

Riku doesn't say anything at all. His eyes, such strange haunting things since the world fell in and out of Darkness, glitter in the dying light of the sun, and she's unprepared for his reaction. He doesn't speak, instead he leans toward her, and his lips brush against her own softly. It's barely a touch, and she likens the feel of it to feathers against her skin. But it still startles her, and she squeaks in a way she hasn't done since she was five years old. "Riku!" She says, her voice sharper than she meant. Not in a million years did she think he would kiss her. Why would he do a thing like that?

He turns away from her then, his elbows resting on his knees. He looks anxious, and she's afraid he'll bolt out the door but he doesn't. "I know people think I'm Heartless," he whispers, his eyes glued to the hardwood floor, "But I'm not, Kairi. I still have one." He looks at her then, and she sees all the emotion he feels flooding out from his eyes. "As broken and torn and empty and _Dark_ as it is, it's still there. I still care." He moves to his feet then, but she just can't let him leave. She can't allow him to go off alone.

She grabs his arm, pulling him back toward her. "Riku, stay," she breaths, looking at him in a way she's never looked at anyone before. It was like seeing him for the very first time. She had no idea he was so similar to the boy she remembered. She thought he'd changed _so _much when he really hasn't changed at all. "Don't go."

He looks almost startled by her words, but he consents to what she asks and sits back down. He's looking at her in such an odd way; she can't help but blush under such intensity. There's a bit of hesitation in his movement, but he leans toward her again and kisses her firmly this time. He doesn't shy away like he did, and she doesn't stop him. It's so hard to be alone with her memories tearing at her heart day after day. She doesn't want to be alone anymore. She kisses him back with the same fervor, in a way she's never kissed anyone. Her fingers curl into his surprisingly soft hair, and she moans into his mouth.

She doesn't really care where they go from here if it means she doesn't have to spend another lonely night in a house built too big for just one. Besides, Riku is _safe, _as crazy as it sounds. She's known him for years, and he knows what she's feeling. They both understand the insanity of loneliness, the bitter taste of pain on one's tongue. He understands her, and that's all she needs but has never had. It's why she doesn't tell him to stop when it becomes more than just a gentle kiss, and it's why she'll never let him go.

The next morning, she wakes to the sun in her eyes and a man she's known a lifetime beside her. She smiles at the way his hair falls around his face and how young he looks in sleep. It makes her want to hold him close and never let go. It makes her want to see him laugh and smile and just be _happy. _She hopes that someday she can give him the peace he deserves. She isn't sure that she can, but it's worth the effort.

Riku is _worth _the effort.

But still, in the darkest depths of her heart, a part of her still blames him for what happened to Sora. A part of her will never allow herself to forget that her Charming Prince will never come back. It's that part inside of her that makes the guilt rise inside for sleeping with the enemy. Riku is, after all, the villain of this story, and when did the villain ever get the girl?

Of course, there aren't many Fairy Tales where the Hero dies that she can recall, and it makes her wonder why she hasn't stopped believing in a Fairy Tale ending for herself. Isn't she a little old for such childish dreams of make-believe?

Kairi shakes her head of such dark, silly thoughts, and greets the day with a smile on her face. And this time, her smile shines in her sapphire eyes.

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_Well, that's it for now. I hope you enjoyed it. I might continue with this if the motivation hits me aka if my fickle, fickle writing muse decides to let me do a KH story. And yes, in this reality, Sora dies at the end of his journey though how will remain a mystery for now. All I will say is that it happened while he was helping Riku (of course, that part was mentioned in the story). Muwahahaha! Yes, I am evil, but I didn't kill him off for the thrill of it. :Dodges Sora fangirls:  
Seriously, I couldn't think of any other plausible way for Kairi and Riku to actually get together since Kairi really does have a thing for Sora. Knight in Shining Armor syndrome, I tell ya. So yeah, took away the Sora option for her and bam! In steps Riku. Besides, there aren't enough Kairi/Riku stories out there, and at least to me, it was clear our resident silver-haired guy had a thing for her. So mah!_

_Oh, and I still have no Beta, so if you see any mistakes, let me know. Thanks! _

_Anyway, please review. You know you want to. _


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